Don't Fight About Money
By Jena McGregor
So you're at odds over how to pay off that debt or rein in your spouse's spending? Here are four tips for keeping financial fights at bay:
Keep some things separate. Your IRAs and 401(k)s are individual accounts, of course, and each spouse should have credit cards and emergency savings in their own name. Beyond that, it's a good idea to keep some cash separate so each spouse can have a little spending autonomy. "It takes time in a marriage to understand and appreciate the other person's money style," says Victoria Collins, a financial planner in Irvine, Calif., and coauthor of Couples and Money: A Couples' Guide Updated for the New Millennium.
Make time for money meetings. One way to ensure conflict is to bother your spouse about the credit card bill just as he or she is rushing out the door. Rather, reserve money discussions — whenever possible — for a weekly or monthly appointment when both of you are prepared to deal with them. Don't forget to set a time limit.
Put yourselves on autopilot. Sure it's simple, but the less you have to remind each other to pay bills or put money away, the less likely it is money issues will erupt. If you haven't already, set up online bill payment where possible, and make savings in IRAs and other investment accounts automatic.
Play up your differences. Even though both of you should be involved in all joint decisions, utilize your strong suits. The more organized partner should take the lead on the budget, while the stock-junkie spouse would sensibly do most of the investing research. Both spouses' styles should be accounted for — if one partner has a penchant for aggressive investing, for example, he should be able to do so in some part of his portfolio. "I've seen disagreeing couples do a 180," says Atlanta-based financial planner Robert Hockett, "when they both feel their needs are being met."